gratitude

a list of things that i'm thankful for 

grace + discipline

This week I’ve been learning about sin.I know, fun week, right?

To be specific, I’ve been learning about the finer workings of discipline, grace & sin. It’s been hard. Really, deeply & truly unpleasant at times. Living life is far easier if we brush over the concept of sin and ignore our shortcomings. This week was filled with taking a step back to reflect upon sin & the root of it.

I wish I could sit here in this well-worn armchair & write a brilliant analysis of the folly of mankind that concludes with some poetic statement on perfection. But I can’t. I’m still struggling, I’m still sinning, and I’m still falling short. But I’ve gained so much in this week. It’s been fruitful to dig deeper! For one, my cycle of repentance used to look like this.

1. Emma tries on her own strength to follow what He asks
2. Emma inevitably messes up & sins
3. Emma, feeling terrible and guilty, retreats from Him
4. Emma realizes this is the worst
5. Emma seeks grace & repents for sin
6. Repeat.

There are obvious flaws in this system. My past version of discipline often borders upon self-righteous law. I depend upon my own strength, I don’t offer up anxiety to the Lord, I don’t confess sin or struggle to others & I punish myself when I fall short. In the past I’ve sought grace only in the aftermath of failed discipline. In some odd fashion, I was removing Him from the equation. I tried to earn grace & withstand sin on my own strength, something I’m clearly incapable of doing.  I was missing the point.

“The disciplines are God’s way for getting us into the ground; they put us where He can work within us and transform us. By themselves the Spiritual Disciplines can do nothing; they can only get us to the place where something can be done. They are God’s means of grace.” -Richard J. Foster

He pours grace upon grace in the midst of struggle, the aftermath, the fall & the buildup. Discipline is an act of receiving grace & following Him.

“For freedom Christ has set us free; stand firm therefore, and do not submit again to a yoke of slavery.” Galatians 5:1

His grace is not just what follows discipline, it’s what spiritual discipline is built upon. There should be genuine joy in discipline! It opens our hearts towards His will & draws us closer. For that, I will delight in the midst of shortcomings & discipline.