what happened here

I have, on multiple occasions with good intentions, sat down to write something for this blog. Each time I’ve managed to only write a few haphazardly strung together lines before deleting them all and walking away.

You see, it only took until mid-January for me to realize that I wasn’t going to be able to treat 2016 as I had treated the years before. By March it was impossible to accurately sum up what I was experiencing. 

re•new•al | noun

the replacing or repair of something that is worn out, run-down, or broken

2016 was a year of renewal. God pulled messes out of the darkest corners of my struggling and made them new. I came face to face with my sin and began to understand the weight of my brokenness. He also blessed me with healing, the redemption of relationships and incredible new friendships/adventures. I experienced some of the lowest lows and highest highs yet. I had to clamber for understanding and yet still, felt like I had no idea what He was trying to teach me.

"Let me hear in the morning of your steadfast love, for in you I trust. Make me know the way I should go, for to you I lift up my soul." Psalms 143:8

This scripture became the theme for my year. I sketched it into journals, typed it out in emails and hung it above my headboard.  If I had the courage to get a tattoo, it would have been this verse.

I needed to hear of the Lord’s steadfast love each and every morning as He continued to work in realms beyond my understanding. I needed to ask Him to lead me on paths I didn’t see and I needed to lift my soul up to His control. I saw Him continue to work in me, but also saw His work being done throughout our broken world. The entire year, filled with its unpredictable ups and downs, was in His control.

"And He who was seated on the throne said, 'Behold, I am making all things new.' Also He said, 'Write this down, for these words are trustworthy and true.'" Revelation 21:5

Every single day spent with Christ is an experience in trusting in the renewal of Creation. Each time something in our world goes terribly wrong, we trust in the One who orchestrates and renews. He takes the evil of our broken world to craft together His eternal glory.

 "So we do not lose heart. Though our outer self is wasting away, our inner self is being renewed day by day. For this light momentary affliction is preparing for us an eternal weight of glory beyond all comparison, as we look not to the things that are seen but to the things that are unseen. For the things that are seen are transient, but the things that are unseen are eternal." 2 Corinthians 4:16-18

2016 so often got the best of me when I foolishly fixed my eyes upon the world. I had lost sight of our God Eternal and became confused by all the chaos. I was suddenly like Peter, taking my eyes off of the Savior and watching the waves around me as I sank deeper under. But I have a hope for the future, a redemption of my mistakes.

"Create in me a clean heart, O God, and renew a right spirit within me." Psalms 51:10

This past year was incredibly difficult for so many of us. It's so easy to become discouraged, taking our eyes off of Christ and trying to fix the mess around us. Take heart! Christ is making all things new, trust in His ability to redeem.

So, what's my goal for 2017? I'd like to write more, learn how to bake my own bread and go on more bike rides. But far more importantly, I will trust that as He is renewing all of Creation, He is renewing my heart within me. Each morning I will hear of His steadfast love and go to where He would have me. Let's focus upon the One who is in control. 2017 will be better for it.